Every day it'll rain.... But the sun is that much more dazzling when it comes.

Toxic people.

BAM!

Right in your face like a large, wet dog while you’re wearing white.

Toxic people suck the happiness out of life, like Hexxus, the spirit of destruction and all that is toxic to nature. Actually, that’s a good analogy, if I do say so.

 FernGully: The Last Rainforest was a pretty good movie. Batty was awesome.

Back to the toxics. Or rather, back away from them. Back away, and then run. Those people who suck the fun and happiness from your life need to NOT BE in your life.

Until I was introduced to this concept back in 2009, I just allowed things to happen. I let people tell me what I should do, think, be, say, and feel. For the most part. My spirit was strong enough to occasionally rouse itself and say, “Hey now!! That’s not right!” and something was briefly lit.. and then went back to sleep.

Until I was introduced to the topic, I never thought very much about who was around me, what I said, what They said, and how I should change it.

I used to be (and still suffer from this at times) severely depressed. I would hide in my sister’s basement (where I lived; yes, most of the time in a basement), play World of Warcraft, and ignore the outside world. I didn’t know a thing about politics, my family’s lives, what fun things there are out in the world. I neglected my friends horribly, for YEARS, and as a result lost touch with almost all of them. I WAS the toxic person.

Luckily I reached a breaking point in May of 2009. I’d befriended a man on WoW who encouraged me to go outdoors, try Parkour, listen to loud crazy music and BE A PERSON. Subsequent events showed me I was really very unhappy with my life, who I was, who I was with, and what I WASN’T doing.

Once I moved to Sault Ste. Marie, I discovered more joy and love of life in myself, and it caused me to seriously examine my life. With the introduction of this term “toxic people”, I looked back on my life and realized who was who and who was useless, who I learned from and who I learned NEVER to be. I started to change myself, beginning from the realization that the person I was (that slack, lazy, depressed wad in my sister’s basement) wasn’t a person *I* would spend time with, let alone wanted to be anymore. I took charge.

I kicked myself in the ass, kicked my useless and selfish partners to the curb, practically FLEW towards my future.

I started with roller blades.

Now, you must realize, I hadn’t been on roller blades since I was 16. The way I learned how to stop at THAT time was by running into stuff. Mailboxes, poles, cars, my sister…

So after having dug out a pair of roller blades I’d had for a few years, I strapped those puppies on and began. It was a lovely spring day, the birds were all tweetling and life was grand. Almost snapping your own neck going about 1/8 km/hr is a feat of strength, and I should get a medal.

I made it about ¾ the way around the block around my sister’s place, when, upon the BUSIEST INTERSECTION OF THE AREA, I wiped out in an absolutely stunning display of flailing limbs and twitchery.

I laughed the whole way down, while I sat on the ground, and then back up onto my feet. All I could think of was, “If I’d just seen me do that from across the street, how friggen funny would that look?” And then burst into laughter again. I made it home, giant bruise on my ass, happy about the whole experience, and life changed for me.

I began to change my way of thinking. Instead of thinking about the negative things life had set in front of me, I would think about ways I could get around those, or ignore them and focus on the positive things I could do instead. It was REALLY REALLY HARD. And it still is. Some days I feel terrible, and now.. Now life seems up again, so I’m going at it as hard as I can to keep it there.

Those toxic people who tell you the things your Inner Critic tells you all the time: get rid of them. What’s your Inner Critic, you ask? Some people refer to it as the “chatterbox” inside your head that sometimes does their best to undermine your self-confidence and diminish your self-esteem.

Challenging that Inner Critic is the HARDEST thing I have done to better myself.

THE HARDEST.

Because that voice is the one with you ALL the time, you can’t get away from it, so you have to pester it with truth and damn right, Willpower! YOU are stronger than that little wimp in your head.

Basically what I did to help me was to write down the things that I’d been circling around in my head. Were they fair? Were they legit? Were they the truth? If it isn't the truth, then it's a lie. 

Alison Finch said it the best way, actually:

“Think of your inner critic as having a personality of her own. If that personality is rude, obnoxious, unfriendly, cruel, insensitive, prejudiced against you, subjective in her assessments, out of control, unbearable, a nuisance, aggressive, destructive, then it’s time to eject her from your mind and replace her with a personality more worthy of sharing your life!

For example, I’ve known women who have lived for years with an inner critic who says horrible things like: “You’re just a big, fat, ugly lump of lard. I hate you. You are pathetic. It’s no wonder no one loves you. I wish you’d get your act together and stop looking so miserable”. Well, if your inner critic is similarly harsh, then it’s definitely time to find within yourself an inner critic who is better motivated!

If you want to BE a better person, don’t try to shut up that inner voice. Work with it, remind it of the truth you want in your life, not the negative, self-doubting, demoralizing words it speaks.

When it comes to toxic people, no matter who they are, do your best to avoid them for awhile, if not altogether stop being around them. Those people who spout “I’m just being realistic,” and then go on to tear down what you are, what you want, or what you can be, are not worth your time, energy or care.

YOU create your reality; create one you love.